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When Is It Time To Get Back With Your Ex-partner?

Relationship experts and therapists say we should take emotional feelings with a grain of salt!

Lynnet Okumu
It’s normal to miss your ex-partner, just like any other person.

Well, many people say it depends. What exactly it depends on for most of you i am not so sure. But here is what I am certain of.

The effect of that one late-night text or social media DM from a familiar account could sweep you off your feet in just a second.

I still love you and want you back could be the key that rekindles the sweet old flames.

Then, you start imagining how sweet it was. Yes, it felt heavenly. But it looks like the devil knew the way quite well.

Tapping back to reality will make you realize they are still your ex. Hopes of getting back with them dissolve as fast as the morning dew.

What if they walk away from my DM, bed, or life like before? 

Or maybe you have tried to light it up with that sweet I miss you text message to your ex. A path you wish you never took after just one dinner date of unfortunate events. You finally realize the breakup was for the best!

It’s normal to miss your ex-partner, just like any other person. But having the feeling does not mean it is time to get back with them. Here is what you should know.

Relationship experts and therapists say we should take emotional feelings with a grain of salt!

No matter how itchy your fingers might be to type that text, dial that number, or drop by his house, learn to control them.

Whether you are going to get back with him or not, do not ever assume that it will be better simply because it did the first time. They still left anyway.

Consider the following before making that hasty decision:

Is it a mutual feeling?

So, you have received a message from your ex that I want you back? Does that mean he likes you truly? And what about you, is getting back with them a priority, or do you want to give in because you had a good time?

Before saying a yes or no, consider whether both of you want the same thing. Immediately trusting someone who has broken the vow is like betraying yourself.

Most times, your ex-partner will call you when they are nostalgic or just lonely. Sometimes they want to manipulate you by using your emotional grief to fetch something.

The idea of just giving in might sound a little lazy. It would be better if you had a clear stand on whether or not you want to get back.

You might want to consider never maintaining a friendship fling with an ex.

Have you been down this path before, or it’s your first breakup?

Although on and off bonds are usually viewed as romance, such relationships could be destructive.

Some couples have broken up and made up more than five times. Don’t you think it’s time you check out what’s happening?

These kinds of bonds could be draining you without your notice.

If this is your first ever breakup, you might ask yourself questions such as: Did you hastily decide to walk out without giving room for talks and possible solutions? Or was it the only and the best solution for the issue you had with your ex?

Did the relationship build or build or break you?

Who were you when you were in a relationship with your ex-partner? Did you feel fulfilled, or were you just there trying to cope because you already said yes to him/her?

Don’t let your grief lead you to believe that your ex is the only antidote to your sadness. Or that you were delighted with the ex when in a real sense, it was the ex who caused you pain in the relationship.

When you feel like you do not know yourself anymore and pile all the blames on yourself when they were the problem, it’s a sign you are engrossed and lost in the relationship. You did not realize the ex didn’t treat you like you deserved.

You don’t have to feel like a failure all your life because the ex left when they ought to stay. These things might make you give in to a second, third, or even tenth emotional torture.

You can use this pain to understand yourself and build your self-esteem fully.

Have you taken the time to analyze and understand why they left?

A breakup can take a heavy toll on you. Your ex is someone you had trusted and hoped for a future with, a stranger who eventually became your best friend. Now they are no longer part of you. 

Before getting to talk with them again, take time to mourn. Let it sink deep that it was the best thing to do, and there was a reason why it did not work out the first time.

Why didn’t it work out the first time?

Okay, this is a must-ask question because it could happen again. Before returning to your ex, you must consider if both of you are ready to work to resolve the past issues.

Is it you or them who was the problem? If you are giving it a second chance, it’s advisable to work past the differences. You have to be in sync, which means changing attitudes, mindsets, and everything unhealthy to the relationship.

Make a decision whether or not you want to get back with your ex based on his current situation and not how you wish they would be in the future.

Ask yourself questions such as will they truly change if I get back with my ex? And what if they don’t, will I accept them? You should never get back to them if your answer is no.

Existing in a merry-go-round breakup and making up a relationship might be so because you have not gathered the confidence to get off the ride.

Take time to build a healthy boundary. Do not be selfish when making this decision; never forget to put yourself first.

Also, promises are not good places to start with. Your ex should demonstrate that they are actively addressing the past issues and deal breakers independently of you.

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