Mental Health: Are Men Their Own Worst Enemies? 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Men committed suicide 3.88 times more often than women in 2020, with an average of 130 suicides every day. 

However, whenever talks about men opening up, seeking help, and admitting they need help to happen, there’s always that one guy—sorry, most men—who will shout or whisper, ‘That’s women’s business,” followed by, “A real man takes something to the grave”.

Before colonization, African forefathers acknowledged mental health. Priests, diviners, shamans, and nature were used to heal the disturbed souls of men. Older men were called upon to revive the spirits of disturbed people. 

Most African communities relate mental health ailments to being out of alignment with your mind, heart, or chi. However, our history of mental health treatments and practices seems to have been passed down orally or with a foreign twist.

Our great-grandparents did not need anti-depressants or anxiety medication. They used healthy, readily available food to help with their mental health. They understood the Cycadean clock and worked when their bodies functioned best. Breathwork was done in the arena as they danced and sang. 

They may not require any gym or yoga, as wrestling, walking long distances, and farming kept them in shape. By digging together, fishing together, and celebrating together, a sense of oneness was created. This way no one felt alone.

In spirituality, you are encouraged to be in touch with nature. Go for walks, eat colourful plates, affirm yourself, and be in tune with your inner self and the universe.

A quick Google search will give you several prayers/ surah to recite in times of trouble. 

Pretty sure you’ve read Philippians 4:6-7:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Qur’an aspires to bring individuals to a meaningful quality of life and can serve as a guide for those experiencing emotional anguish. According to a hadith, Allah does not create an illness unless He also creates a cure for it.

Men deserve to be celebrated

Men deserve to be celebrated and to celebrate themselves. Some men have a problem with men who cook or share their skincare routines. Men openly discussing mental health is not a feminine trait; they should not be whipped.

The very inventors of patriarchy are suffering. Defining men as strong with the wrong definition of strong is leading you to an early grave. Men openly discussing mental health is not a feminine trait, they should not be whipped… 

What if men would let their fellow men rant and complain—you know, provide a safe space for men to express their emotions? Would more men have the courage to face their fears? I know I know… Men only open up when they need solutions; men are pragmatic. 

So, if a man finds out he was cheated on, you will tell him to leave (her), and if he has no money, you will help him find a job?

What happens in situations such as death? Loss? What happens in purely emotional situations? Do they just snap out of it? Or do you all go on with your lives and drown your sorrows? Is your friend okay, or is he afraid that if he opens up, you’ll regard him as less? 

To my younger brother: It’s okay not to be okay. Feeling such emotions and acknowledging them does not steal from your manhood. You are a man because you say so. I pray you find brotherhood safe enough to bloom. I hope you find brothers who know the difference between physical strength and mental strength.