When someone comes to talk to you about something personal, they trust you and feel like you are the best person to help them relieve their pressure or pain.
But what happens is that most people listen because they don’t have a choice. Deep down, they wish there was a way to avoid listening to that person.
People have a lot of problems and want someone who can listen. They need to realize it to keep it from people who are not connected.
Signs of emotional dumping
- You feel like the conversation is focused on one person
- You feel drained after the conversation
- The person keeps talking about the same issue every day
- You feel like the person does not seek a solution to their problem
- You are tired of listening and want to avoid the person
The difference between emotional dumping and healthy venting is that in healthy venting, the person coming to speak to you about their issues is aware of your emotional state.
Moreover, they also give you space to share your emotions and experiences, which could be more consistent.
A healthy venting can look like one of your friends is struggling at work and comes to you for a talk.
She will say a phrase such as Hello… Are you in a space to listen?
You can also talk to her when you have an issue because she has vented that safe space, and the process becomes reciprocal.
How to stop emotional dumping
Check-in first
Before overwhelming someone with your sad or happy story, ask them if they have the space to listen. If not, then wait to overload your luggage!
Be curious
Learn about the people you want to vent to and know what interests them most. Also, how are they doing? Are they in a good state of mind to listen to you?
Seek a solution
Some people talk to others to get a connection. This temporary feeling will creep away immediately after you part ways with the person you are speaking with.
Ensure you are looking for a solution, so you don’t make it a consistent occurrence.
Placing boundaries around emotional dumping
For those who always feel tired of listening to the same person and topic every day, here is how to stop it from draining you.
Tell them you are not in a space to listen.
Be honest with the person and tell them you are not ready to listen to their problems. You can say. I am sorry, but I am also going through some things right now, and I don’t think I am in the best space to listen to you.
Try Redirecting
You can redirect the conversation to more familiar and neutral things, such as a story you just read, a movie you just watched, or even something that happened in your office.
